Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
