You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's shark week go big or go home
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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