totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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