Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
