Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I understand Curling. That high.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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