apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize