Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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