Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
