marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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