We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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