as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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