no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
