hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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