The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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