You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
