I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
