Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
