I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
