I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I puked a lego.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize