Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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