It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
