Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
