Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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