Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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