me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
