Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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