My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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