i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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