He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
