community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
