Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Drunk is not a location!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize