its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
