So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
