Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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