clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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