We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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