"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
