Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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