she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
