I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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