Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
