One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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