im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize