Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
