My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
