I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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