the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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