Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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