How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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