my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Houston, we have a squirter
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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