i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
