i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
