I am puke
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
