i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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