Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
