I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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