Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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