I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
