I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
