Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
