i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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