So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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