No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
