masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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