end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
