I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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