My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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