take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you would pick up someone in the library
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
